Can divorce mediation help you reach agreement with your spouse? Divorce Mediator and Family Law Attorney Rachel Rust talks about divorce mediation in this video. She describes how it usually works in Texas and the roles of divorce mediators and attorneys in the divorce process. If you have questions for Rachel, please contact her office for an appointment by calling 832-271-4830 or using the contact form on the website.
Summary of Texas Divorce Mediation Video
What Is Divorce Mediation
Divorce mediation is one of the processes by which you can end up with an agreed divorce decree. A mediator is a neutral third party who cannot give legal advice but can assist couples in resolving their conflict. These folks are many times attorneys, and sometimes they’re mental health professionals.
We have a wide variety of mediator certifications in Texas, and there’s not one that is ordained by the State, so there’s many organizations that offer mediation certifications and training. A divorce mediator is somebody who basically holds themselves out as having expertise in family law, and in dividing assets, and helping parents come up with a parenting plan.
There are some mediators, probably more in urban areas, who only do divorce mediation, and there are classes in divorce mediation, but there are some mediators who do divorce mediation along with construction mediation, and business mediation, and other issues. It’s a process for resolving conflict, for trying to find a solution where people are stuck.
Most of the mediators I know, and I’m a mediator myself, require that attorneys, if they’re not present, sign off on mediated agreements. That’s because the mediator cannot give legal advice. It might be that the parties have reached an agreement where, as the mediator, you can’t say, this is a really bad deal for one of the parties from a legal standpoint. However you want to make sure that the parties are protected, and so that’s what their individual attorneys are for and that’s why the mediator would want the attorneys representing each party to sign off on the mediated agreement.
The practice I am most familiar with is that the lawyers are present at mediation, so that you don’t have to call them. Without the attorneys present, you might think you have a deal, and it gets undone when the attorneys review it later. There’s a good reason that the parties’ attorneys are a necessary part of mediation for many mediators. I mean, it’s a requirement for many mediators. Not all however, so if folks find somebody that will do that, then that’s great.
Can the Mediator Write Up the Divorce Decree?
The mediator will write up the mediated agreement, but not necessarily the divorce decree. Someone else has to do the divorce decree. Hence, you’re going to have to have a lawyer somewhere doing that. And whether a lawyer would take a mediated agreement without asking a bunch of other questions and knowing that no other attorneys have been involved is something you just have to check out with the individual mediators.
What Is Divorce Mediation Good For?
Divorce mediation a good process for helping people get unstuck. A lot of times, by the time couples decide to divorce, people are dug in, they’re in the trenches with what they want. It’s very difficult for them to see their way out, for them to imagine themselves five years down the road, and how’s this going to work, and how are we going to work together. They’re just stuck with their current pain, and angry feelings, and often years of that. So in mediation, a mediator can kind of cut through those barriers to try to help people, and facilitation is a good word. How can I say what I need to say in a way that the other side can hear it? In many ways, it’s kind of a communication coach.
If folks can reach an agreement in mediation, in my experience, they’re more likely to live with that. If you participated in the solution, then you’re more invested in it working, and you’re not going to be one of those former couples who drags each other back to court every year until the child is 18. That’s usually the folks who keep going back to court, because in property settlements, without fraud or some other circumstances, whatever deal you make, you’re stuck with that deal. So divorce mediation, I think, particularly where kids are involved, is a good problem-solving technique, and it’s been around long enough that there are a number of good divorce mediators who can help people work through their differences.
I would say one other thing about the divorce mediation process, in Texas, for the most part, they use something called caucus, which means that the mediator is going back and forth between two rooms. They don’t often sit at the same table together. In other states where I have worked, the divorce mediators try, for the most part, to sit at the same table with both parties and work things out, using a set of rules to keep behaviors in control, and caucusing is the rare event, not the common event. But in Texas, the most common practice is for the mediator to go from room to room, back and forth, offering deals and counteroffers until they get a solution worked out.
Do the Courts Order Mediation as a Typical Practice?
They can. One of our area counties will order mediation prior to giving you a temporary orders hearing date, and prior to a final decree of divorce, I mean a final divorce hearing. So if you want the court’s time, you’re going to have to have gone to mediation twice in order for the courts to give you their time.
Call Rachel to Learn More About Doing Divorce Differently with Mediation
Call 832-271-4830 to learn more about doing divorce differently with divorce mediation. The choices you make early in the divorce process can determine the path you take through that process. Learn about your choices and talk with Rachel.
Attorney Rachel Rust is Of Counsel with Wadler, Perches, Hundl & Kerlick. The firm has offices in Fulshear and Richmond in Fort Bend County, Wharton and El Campo in Wharton County, and Bay City in Matagorda County. Call 832-271-4830 for an appointment at any of our offices.
